​What's different about the saner approach?

Time spent on introspection is invaluable. Even Socrates said "An unexamined life is not worth living." Notice what you want to do when you don't have to do anything. Pay attention to others' opinions, figure out why they are right or wrong, then form your own. Listen to a grandparent's reminiscences or advice. Read some well-written books. Do extracurricular activities that refresh you and add not only to to your sense of accomplishment, but also to your "soul." 

 

There are many more students with stellar grades and scores than can fit into the Ivies and other top schools.  Everyone knows students who have been rejected from top schools who could have done the work easily and been a successful student there. As a result, some colleges that are less selective are full of "top drawer" students. Graduate schools and employers know that too.

 

Unless you are hell-bent on being accepted into a top investment banking program after college, attending one of the top five colleges will not be as important as you think. If you get good grades, take advantage of internships and other opportunities, and use your accepted college's alumni network, you will do well. You may even find that it will be easier for you to be accepted into some graduate programs than if you had attended a competitive college and gotten lower grades. 

 

Don't get me wrong--attending the most select universities can be a wonderful experience-but so can attending a college whose name is not on everyone's lips. If the student, parents and consultant are realistic and grounded, and have an open mind about what constitutes the "best" schools for the applicant, the applicant will have a much stronger chance of being accepted.  To get to that knowledge, everyone must be thoughtful and honest about the applicant's academic strengths and weaknesses, lifestyle preferences, and values.

 

Some like to call this approach "holistic" or "practical." I just call it "sane."

 

The "saner" approach takes time (not "billing" time, but the applicant's time!).  It takes time to think about the kind of person you want to be, not just the kind of resume you want to have. Then it takes in-depth research -- into the colleges (their programs, faculty and culture).  I guarantee you will find at least a handful that "match" and make you feel hopeful.  At that point, the confusion lifts a lot, and the intensity of the college application process just naturally "dials down."

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I understand the pressure to succeed young people today face, but I still strongly believe that a young person's character, and physical and mental health are more important than what he or she "achieves." Spending time with family, developing strong and healthy friendships, and engaging in activities that enrich the body, spirit and mind are what will make a young person into a solid human being and citizen, and one, coincidentally, that colleges will want. 

 

 

 

Lisa Kok has served as: a high school college admissions counselor; an admissions ambassador and college fair representative for a major university; an adjunct professor of writing; and as a writing consultant with expertise in crafting the college application essay. She is a graduate of Cornell University and Columbia University, and a member of the New York State Association for College Admission Counseling. She has helped many students get accepted to wonderful schools-some of them even Ivies!